“We need you at the front of the store! Come quick!” One of my coworkers shouted over the headset.
I arrived at the scene where four of my coworkers swarmed around one of the chairs at the front of the store.
“Is that lipstick?” One of them asked me, pointing at the black leather seat.
The answer was no. No, it wasn’t lipstick.
I did what any good floor supervisor should do. I told my coworkers to disperse and start helping customers or else clean the mess off of the chair themselves. And, of course, they dispersed.
So, there I was on my first glorious night of rising up to floor supervisor, cleaning some woman’s period blood off of a leather chair.
The truth is that you really don’t have to be a nurse to see all sorts of nasty things because (lucky you!) you can also achieve that by working in retail!
Here’s a list of some of the gross things I’ve experienced in my past eight years of working in retail:
- Baby barfing on me
- Cleaning toddler’s pee
- Cleaning someone else’s period blood
- Finding pile of hair after woman gives herself a haircut in store
- Diapers full of baby poo in trash
- Customer spitting in my mouth
- Barefoot woman tries to paint toenails on shelves
- Customer licks my hand
- Bloody tampons/pads in changerooms
- Woman lets child urinate in changeroom
- Vomit in changeroom
- Deodorant stains on clothes (Yeah, I think that’s gross)
- Customers fart while I’m helping them
- Customers with body odour
- Many dirt monsters
- Many unknown liquids
- Many ass-crack slips
- AND MORE!!!
If you’d like to read more horrifying, disgusting retail stories you can click here to read what my fellow troopers on the interwebs have had to share on the matter.
Can’t handle it? I don’t blame you.
But, if you’re thinking of staying at your job or – for some crazy reason – you’re still considering joining the retail workforce, here are my…
5 tips on how to get through even the nastiest retail incidents.
Tip #1: Stay calm
Freaking out won’t help the situation and it won’t undo the nasty that’s happening to you right now. Keep it together so you can properly think of how to deal with the icky issue at hand.
Tip #2: Talk to a manager
If I were smart, I would have gotten another employee to clean that period blood off that chair but since most managers are pretty understanding when it comes to extreme situations, I knew I had to “take one for the team” and do it myself. If you’re feeling completely uncomfortable in a situation, let your manager know and see what can be done for you.
Tip #3: Ask for a quick break
Like I said, most managers are understanding about disturbing incidents. Ask if you can step in the backroom for five minutes to regain your composure if you’re going to have a mental breakdown or if you’re going to throw up or something. Nobody wants to see that drama or any added mess!
Tip #4: Ask for help
Okay, I’ll admit. Sometimes your coworkers will run away if you do this but other times your coworkers are willing to help you out of this nasty situation. Remember that teamwork makes the dream work! Just try your best to remember that when someone asks you to help them out of something truly disgusting at work.
Tip #5: Get it over with!
Do you think I just slowed down applying eyeliner to my client’s eyes after the second time she licked my hand?! Heck no! It was probably my fastest eyeliner application to date because I just had to get my hand away from her lickity-lizard tongue. So, your boss just asked you to mop that vomit off of the floor. Somebody has to clean it and it’s not getting any less nasty by whining at it, so buck up and get the job done!
I hope these tips help you get through the inevitably disgusting incidents at your retail workplace.
And, if I made this post too late and you already have some gross retail experiences to share, I’d love to read them in the comments!
My life in Retail 